This posts is going to be super personal and one I never thought I would write…. But I am sharing my story in hopes that my struggle will help and support others out there who might be dealing with this same issue.
As a little girl I dreamed of growing up and being a Mom. I had visions of my perfect little babies and what a great mother I would be. I never worried about the “science” of how I would get those babies. I just knew that as I grew up and married my prince charming the babies would come.
My husband and I were extremely blessed when after being off birth control for one month we instantly got pregnant with baby #1. We joked that I was a fertile Myrtle and that we better be careful, so we would have the spacing we wanted between babies. Everything was great we had this beautiful baby girl that was ours and we loved her so much! I had a small sense of pride knowing that my body knew just what to do and made a baby so quickly and easily…
The time came for us to try for “baby #2” we were so excited we secretly hoped for a boy and had names planned out. We talked about when we would like to have the next one. Since I had gotten pregnant so easily before we were picking out possible due dates and what time of year would be best. But then reality has a way of crashing down on you and reminding you that you are not in charge and things don’t always work out how you planned.
Each month for six months I would “fake” myself out over every little body ache or upset stomach thinking this was the month that I had become pregnant and month after month I was disappointed. For those who have never really struggled with infertility this monthly mind game can mess with you in away nothing ever has. It is exhausting and defeating. I tried to stay positive and be grateful for the one healthy and beautiful child we did have. But that image in my mind with a minivan full of kids was hard to shake. My value as a woman felt challenged. It was a really hard time in my life, it even affected my husband and I’s relationship. What once was fun “the making of babies” became a chore. After what seemed like years, we became pregnant with baby #2 after 6 months. This seemed so long after our 1st try luck with #1! But as I opened up about my struggle with friends, it became obvious that this was normal and something a lot of my friends dealt with as well.
We were so excited to welcome our 2nd baby into our family, a beautiful baby boy! Our family was starting to feel more complete.
After our last experience of trying to get pregnant we decided to start trying way sooner, knowing it would probably take us a bit. I mentally prepared myself for the months ahead. After 6 months of failure we decided it was time to see a doctor about our fertility issues. The doctors answer was fertility drugs, Clomid to be exact. So each month after yet another visit from my monthly visitor – my doctor would just up my dose. For those of you who have never tried Clomid – it basically makes you slightly insane for the 5 days you take it each month. I was on Clomid for a whole year with every month my dosage being upped. It was horrible! I gained weight ( a common side effect) and it made normal PMS look like a walk in the park. Mad props to my husband for enduring the 5 days of crazy every month. After the year of crazy clomid dosages with no success I decided to get a second opinion. (Please get a second opinion if your doctor’s only answer is more drugs!) After reevaluating me and testing many different factors, it was realized that my Thyroid levels were off. So I was given a low dose of Thyroid medicine and more Clomid – but this time my dosage was kept much lower. This year and half struggle with fertility took every ounce of my inner strength to stay positive. It challenged me and taught me a lot. I learned to be more patient and that babies don’t come when you wish for them. That the science of getting pregnant is pretty crazy and it’s a complete miracle that any of us get pregnant at all!
After a total of 23 months of monthly mind games – I finally got pregnant with our 3rd child! When I held her after giving birth to this perfect little baby – it made the months spent in agony all worth it.
Getting pregnant is NOT easy. Okay for some it is. But for those of us who have struggled , it is hard! You can feel less of a woman because of it. If you are struggling right now , I am sorry! It is hard and I want to give you a BIG hug and tell you it will all work out! For me it did over time. But others have and will have a harder time than myself and my heart is filled compassion with you all!
Just know you are not alone and that are so many options out there to help you through this crazy process! One of those options I wasn’t even aware of when I was struggling is, Astroglide TTC Trying to Conceive™ it is a sperm-friendly lubricant that doesn’t impede sperm motility like traditional lubricants. Astroglide TTC™ is a specially formulated for couples who are trying to conceive, Astroglide TTC supports fertility with adjusted pH levels, compatible osmolality and a consistency similar to your body’s cervical mucus. Each package contains 8 pre-filled disposable applicators that make it easy to coat the inside of the vagina,
supplementing natural fluids and enhancing comfort. For more information regarding Astroglide TTC™, fertility support, and where to buy please visit the Astroglide website. Make sure and check out their Facebook and Pinterest pages find and connect with others who are also trying to conceive. Feel free to share your story as well!
Astroglide TTC™ sponsored this blog post. The opinions and text are all mine