Can I call you that?
It has been over 5 years since I started Maybe I Will. What started as a way for me to make a couple extra bucks that I didn’t have to tell my husband about, has turned into a full-time job and has saved my family through some very hard financial times.
I love everything about being a blogger! I get to work from home, work with cool companies I love, and most importantly I get to connect with you, my readers.
I have shared recipes, workouts, tips, products reviews, and detoxes – and every so often I have shared my stories.
I have kept it pretty professional and shared only tidbits of my life with you.
Why only tidbits? Because I am a big fat chicken, I’m terrified to speak my truth and let it all out there, worried that you will think less of me or that you will feel I don’t measure up. And if I am being brutally honest with myself and with you – my biggest fear is that you won’t care.
But one thing I have discovered through the years that have combined to make up my life is that there is strength in solidarity, there is strength in sharing your story. Maybe if I speak up and share the hard and embarrassing stuff, you will realize that it’s not just you and that you are not alone. And if it this post is only read by a handful of people and I make a difference in just one life then it will be worth it.
So starting today and going forward I will speak my truth. I will open up my life and share with you the good, the bad, and the ugly – and how I am learning and growing and trying to make sense of it all.
So every Friday expect to find a post dripping with my blood, sweat, and tears.
I will share with you the tears cried, laughter shared, fears felt, anxieties managed, and words that I have left unsaid.
Please comment and share with me your stories as well.
So I bare all and share all, in hopes that my stories may touch your heart, dear friend, and help you navigate this life as we all learn day by day.
This week in my life…
Thursday morning, as I was getting ready to read my scriptures at 5 am, the doorbell rang. Who in their right mind rings a doorbell at 5 am?! As I made my way to the front door and tiptoed up to peep through the peephole in my door – my heart froze and I stopped breathing for a second. There on my front porch was a uniformed police officer. My mind raced, filled with all kinds of scenarios, most of them involving my kids that were currently spending time with grandparents and cousins in Idaho.
I opened the door hesitantly, not knowing what awaited me as the cop opened his mouth to speak.
His first question was, “Do you own a silver Honda Accord?”
A felt a sigh of relief since his first words did not include the word “child” or “children”.
I answered yes, my husband does.
“Well, Ma’m there appears to be some damage made to your vehicle.”
As we spoke longer I learned that some guy was caught and was currently in custody for vandalizing my husband’s car. And I am not talking a little. I have to hand it to the guy because HE went to town! A rock was thrown thru the back window, both side mirrors were knocked off and hanging by a wire, scratches all up and down the side of it. As I stared at the photos I could not believe someone could hurt another person’s property for no apparent reason. For fun?
I am not sure of the facts of yet, so I don’t know if the “perp” was on drugs, drunk, hangry, or just crazy.
But here is what I do know – bad things happen to good people. But that does not mean that life is bad. Yes, having your husband’s nice shiny car that we are still paying on beat the heck up = bad.
But I chose to see that God was there, even when bad things were happening. He helped a police officer be there at the right time to catch the guy! And who knows what else might come out of this awful thing.
I have been through hard and terrible things in my life and one thing that I have learned is that God never leaves you alone. He is always there and will find ways to send you love and show you tender mercies, even amongst the bad and seemingly devastating.
Cars can be fixed, so even though this totally stinks, the fact that my kids are all safe and sound and being loved up by family members is a blessing!
So when life throws hard at you, choose to look around and see the small tender mercies.
I promise if you stop being mad, angry, and upset – take a deep breath and look – you will see them.