It happens, we find our relationships getting stagnant and miss the spark! Here are 4 Things you can do right now to improve your relationship in a big way!
Why is it so rare to find couple’s that actually seem to be dialed in on how to really make the relationship thing a success? Stop and think for a moment…How many couples’s do you know that have a marriage or relationship that you would truly want to emulate? Most likely you can’t think of many.
I have been intrigued with the dynamics of families and intimate partnerships for decades. When I was in my twenties I went through a divorce with two small children. I was devastated and felt such an immense amount of pressure on my shoulders to not thoroughly screw up my kids’ life by getting divorced. At the time I was a bartender at a restaurant. I had the chance to observe several couples, families and interesting people. I would listen to their stories, advice, and perspectives.
Now twenty years later I’ve been remarried for 12 years and I’ve never stopped observing how to improve relationships. Here are some tried and true powerful tips and I promise they work to help improve your relationship in a big way!
Step 1: Write down your ideal relationship
Get out a piece of paper and pour your heart and soul into writing out the perfect relationship that you want. Write it out as if it is that way now in present form. For example, if you don’t have trust and you want it right…I am in a happy marriage filled with joy and trust. Write about different activities you do together, places you go and things you say. Fill the new story you are creating with joy, love, laughter, passion, fun and any other energy you want to infuse it with. Fold up your new story and put it in your wallet or purse. Pull it out daily and read it.
Step 2: Get clear on what you love about your partner
I often have people tell me what they don’t like and want their partner to change. Oh wow, do they usually have an ear full of requests! I then ask them what they love about their partner. Many times I then get the deer in the headlights look with them trying to search for things they love and adore. Remember whatever we focus on expands. So if I’m walking around all day thinking about what I can’t stand about my partner I get a whole lot more of that. Get in the habit of taking five minutes every single day to think about all the things you are grateful for in them and watch things start to turn around.
Step 3: Put on your partner’s shoes
This sounds easier than it really is putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. If a couple can remember this one powerful tip it really can help prevent getting into dangerous waters that can permanently damage a relationship. When something comes up that upsets your partner really try and stop to think about how they must feel. Ask yourself this one question every time they get mad about something…How would I feel if I were in their shoes? Often times the issue you are trying so hard to defend yourself against you will come up with the answer of …Yes, I would be upset too if I were in their shoes. This will help you stop and make changes on your side to compromise.
Step 4: Flirt your ass off (With your partner of course!)
Don’t underestimate this step! When couples first meet this comes so natural. After a while, people usually stop flirting and start fighting. If this is you, choose to change this now! Take the reins to start bringing excitement back into the relationship and watch your partner jump in and play along. Pretend you are boyfriend and girlfriend just starting to date. Send random flirty text messages to them. Send them a “look” from across the room. Make them feel wanted and sexy. Start having fun again!
If you want to have a fabulous relationship quit looking for your partner to create it. Be the one to start making changes now! You deserve it!
Follow Jen on Instagram @jensuliafu