With so many things pulling your marriage apart, this 30-day challenge is designed to help you create a stronger marriage.
I debated and debated about writing this post. Sex is one of those things like religion, politics, and money that polite young ladies do not talk about.
But I want to share this story with you because it is something that helped heal and repair my marriage. I honestly believe it is something that I think will help a lot of couples find each other again and build stronger marriages.
Several months ago, our little family went through a significant challenge. My husband and my relationship took a severe toll in the process. We were both dealing with a lot of pain, anger, and fear, but in different ways. Instead of pulling together, we started to find ourselves arguing and fighting and pulling away from each other. My husband and I have been married for 18 years, and most of those years have been extremely happy.
But there we were, with this ocean between us that I wasn’t quite sure how to fix. I was mad, hurt, and feeling alone.
Amid this situation, a friend told me about a challenge that completely revamped her marriage. She claimed that this little challenge helped create a stronger marriage for her and her husband. I knew we needed to do something, and I wasn’t sure what, so I listened with eagerness as to what she was going to say. Hoping her words would shed some light on my situation and offer some magical cure.
As she told me what the “stronger marriage” challenge was, I was immediately NOT interested. Her words tumbled out, in honesty and fervor, sex every day for 30 days.
Are you kidding me? I heard my inner critic yell. I am entirely EXHAUSTED at the end of the day, and sex is the last thing on my mind.
With my eyes internally rolling, I continued thinking, really, that’s what “saved” your marriage? I politely smiled, thanked her for the tip, and immediately thought to myself, yep, not for me. But I also found myself secretly admiring her. I also wondered where the heck all her energy was coming from, good for you, I thought.
That night as I lay in bed completely exhausted and absolutely not in the mood, my friend’s words came back to me, hitting me like a ton of bricks. I remembered her earnest and honest words and how vulnerable she was to share this part of her story with me. I knew that this was something I had to try at least. Our marriage was worth saving.
I looked over at Kelly, laying with his back to me. I ached inside for things to be different, for him to reach out and hold me. But the wall between us was pretty steep, and we had not held each other in months. Inwardly I was also terrified, what if sex wasn’t enough. Were we really that far gone? My heart really hoped we weren’t.
So I rolled over, pushing away my anger, hurt, fear, and exhaustion and started making a move on my man. Guys, I really did not want to, but I did it anyway. Instantly I felt Kelly’s prickly exterior soften it was like he was waiting for the same thing to happen. We needed each other more than ever. But yet we were both held hostage by our pain. This small act of intimacy allowed the walls to come down and us to really see each other and connect once again.
The next night rolled around, and the next night and the next and little by little, I really started to enjoy our “sessions”. Just like my friend had promised, our marriage began to improve. My happy husband was back, and I felt more loved and secure in our relationship.
I was filling up my husband’s love bucket by making him feel loved and desired, and in turn, he was more loving, caring, and attentive in return.
It was like all that space between us was gone, and there was the closeness that we normally cherished. As our physical intimacy improved, so did our emotional intimacy. We started talking to each other more and sharing our feelings over all that we were going through. We were able to come together and face our challenge as a team.
Sex in a marriage is a MUST, you and your partner both need it! Sexual health plays a big part in our overall health. (I couldn’t help it – I am a health and wellness blogger!)
If you need more convincing, here are some added perks for upping your “alone” time.
- Relieves stress
- Improves mood
- Improves sleep quality
- Boosts immune system
- Reduces prostate cancer risk
- Improves cardiovascular health
- Enhances intimacy
- Boosts immune system
- Boosts cognition
- Helps relieve pain
- Burns calories
Whether you are like Kelly and I were and really struggling or if you are in a good place and just want to amp things up and reignite your passion for each other, try the 30 days of sex challenge. It is a game-changer friend! And as an added bonus you’ll help improve your overall health as well. 🎉🙌
The premise is pretty simple – make love to your spouse every day. If you are struggling to be in the “mood” after about day 3 your libido and desire will increase. Sex is like sugar the more you have the more you want. In full disclosure some days we even added an extra morning session. This challenge changed things for us THAT much!
Here are some of our favorite resources to use duirng the stronger marriage challenge:
- Ultimate Intimacy is a classy app that offers some new positions to help mix things up and keep things interesting.
- Mentionables is a great place to buy high quality, classy lingerie. There are no models, just pretty flat lays. So their site is perfectly safe to send your hubs to do the shopping.
I am happy to report that a year later, after this little challenge, my relationship with my husband is still in such a great place. We LOVE spending time with each other and man, things are hotter than when we were newlyweds. Just Sayin’…
Another pro tip: Schedule a quarterly overnight date with your man. It can be as simple as booking a hotel in your own town. Or try shipping the kids off to friends or grandparents for the night. You just need what Kel, and I refer to as a “sexcation.”
We look forward to these little trips and have so much fun rediscovering each other and being in our little love bubble.
As I look back on how far we have come in the past year, I am in awe. We were in a scary place, and I wasn’t sure if our marriage would survive. But a year later, we are scheduling sexcations and sending sexy texts to each other throughout the day. We also communicate and are so much more connected than we ever have been before. This challenge was the turning point we needed in our marriage. I hope and pray, it helps you as well. ❤
For more of our favorite tips for keeping things hot and building a stronger marriage – check out this post
This stronger marriage challenge is an extended exert from my book The Big Book of 30-Day Fitness Challenges: 60 Habit-Forming Routines to Make Working Out Fun