Somehow at age 31, I found myself to be what I never thought I would be, an overweight, tired Mom. I lacked the energy and vitality to keep up with my kids. I meandered through my days in a haze, each day blending into the next. I was sleepwalking through my own life.
I would see other Moms my own age fit, healthy, and looking good and I would seethe with jealousy. Why wasn’t I born with “good genes”? I would just look at the cake and seem to gain weight. It was maddening.
I was a chronic dieter. I tried every diet on the market, each one met with the same conclusion: complete and utter failure. I would do okay for a bit, even lose a few pounds. But then I would somehow lose momentum and fall right back into my old habits, relying on comfort foods to cheer me up.
I really did want to lose weight and become healthier, so I wouldn’t have to miss out on playing with my kids and really enjoying life. But I was at a loss of what to do and it seemed utterly hopeless. Nothing I had tried provided lasting results.
The thing is, everything I read about weight loss seemed to contradict itself and I was overwhelmed and confused. That meant I was always searching for truth on how to lose weight. Still, each avenue seemed to be smoke and mirrors, all making big promises and never delivering.
To make things worse, I felt terrible because I seemed to fail every single time. I felt even worse about the situation because I seemed to lack an ounce of willpower and food always seemed to win. I felt deflated and my life seemed completely out of control.
The problem was that I didn’t have the energy to walk up the stairs without being winded. I would look in the mirror and be completely ashamed and embarrassed at the woman staring back at me.
I remember vividly the day I timidly stepped on the scale as my tattered bathrobe fell to the floor. I remember looking down and seeing the numbers 172 blink back at me. Immediately tears trickled down my face. My weight had never hit over 170lbs. As a five-foot two-inch small frame person, this weight was more than I had ever weighed. The numbers on the scale seemed to taunt me, pushing me to feel and absorb their harsh reality.
Finally, after staring at the numbers on our bathroom scale for what seemed like hours, I felt my anger rise. I wiped my tears away with the back of my pudgy hand and felt something shift in me. I could feel my indignation rising. I looked at the naked, flabby woman staring back at me and I said enough is enough. I am done feeling like this. I am done avoiding taking photos with my kids. I am done looking at myself in the mirror and hating what I see. I was done being tired, I was done being ashamed. It was time to take my control back.
Then, as if by chance, something amazing happened.
That’s when I realized I could keep doing what I was doing and continue down the road of gaining more and more weight or I could choose to rewrite my story of who I had become. In a matter of moments, I realized I had the power within me to choose to lose the weight and change the narrative I had created for myself! It was up to me and only me to take my control back and stop letting myself sleepwalk through life.
It was suddenly crystal clear to me how to shift my mindset and finally lose weight. I knew I had the power within me to rewrite my life from one of pain, depression, self-loathing, and obesity to one of health, happiness and a killer new bod.
I also learned that all diets, no matter how they are structured, boil down to one thing. And that one thing was the key to it all.
As a result of defining this new truth, I started gaining momentum. After I did that, I started finding confidence in myself I never knew existed. Suddenly I was able to keep up with my kids, I had energy and vitality again. I was no longer a spectator in my own life. I began to be a creator.
That’s when I realized that the secret is that we are being lied to and manipulated all the time. There was no magic pill, diet, or exercise that would give me the results I so desperately wanted.
The truth was that dieting doesn’t work. Instead, I had to change my lifestyle and my mindset completely.
After my epiphany, I dove deep into researching everything I could on nutrition, fitness, and weight loss. My plan was to start to implement the tiny basic truths I had discovered. I ignored flashy, quick fad diets and focused on real provable methods.
I started to see results and my scale was beginning to move. But I didn’t stop there, I kept searching.
I started to implement exercise. Moving my body every day was super hard at first and I absolutely hated it. But the more I did it, the more I realized how much better I felt both emotionally and physically.
After that, I started learning more and more about the body-mind connection realizing that diet and exercise alone were not enough.
But there was still a problem…
I was losing weight and feeling better but there was something missing. Evan as the numbers on the scale dropped I still wasn’t quite at peace with who I was inside. I continued to struggle internally with loving and accepting myself. I found that my self worth and the number on the scale didn’t correlate in the way I expected. Whether I was 172 or 125, I felt the same negative feelings about myself. Although my outer body had changed completely, my inner self was much the same.
I ended up getting so frustrated that I decided to work on being a woman who loved and accepted herself no matter what.
I chose to call my little mission, “Love Yourself Completely, No Matter What.”
I wanted to create something that would make it possible to not only keep off the weight I lost but learn to be truly happy and joyful with who I was as a human. I needed something that not only changed my outer world but, more importantly, my inner world.
It took time and lots of inner work, but now when I look in the mirror I completely love the body and soul looking back at me. I am finally at peace within my mind, body, and soul. The best way I can explain it is freedom.
I had done what I set out to accomplish after years of failing diet after diet and feeling like a complete loser who lacked an ounce of willpower. I lost 40lbs and kept it off for over 9 years (to date). But more importantly, I reclaimed who I was and learned to silence my inner mean girl. I intentionally stepped into a place of peace, joy, and happiness within my own mind, body, and soul.
After years of my own struggle, learning, trial, and error, I started my blog. I became a woman obsessed with the one purpose, to help as many people as I could make this momentous transformation in their own lives. I even went back to school and became a certified personal trainer and nutrition specialist. I studied meditation, affirmations, and the power of the mind-body connection.
I stepped out of my comfort zone and into my role as a coach. I have helped thousands of women move beyond diets and step into freedom by reclaiming their bodies and taking back control in their lives.
This is the journey I love taking my clients and readers on, helping them to heal inner wounds and move boldly forward as women filled with joy, peace and self-acceptance.
AND a killer bod.
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